My pessimistic prediction for the future

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After Brexit, I have come to a conclusion (several, actually). The Mayans weren’t wrong, the end of the world is nigh, they were just off by around 4 years. What I am about to say is based more on intuition than fact, and should in no way be taken seriously.

I’m what mystics refer to as an “empath”. I feed off of other people’s energies. Right now, that energy is telling me a lot. So now, we know that some people are racist enough to approve of Britain leaving the European Union based on wanting to keep out refugees. We know this same racist sentiment exists in the United States, as we have seen the rise of Trump in recent months. I predict that the Brexit decision is actually a foreshadowing of what will occur here in the United States. I think Trump will win the presidency, and our job is no longer to pretend that that cannot be possible, but to prepare for the repercussions when this happens.

As the president of the United States, Trump would have access to a lot of nuclear weapons, and Trump is crazy, so nuclear war is not only possible, but probable. Thus, we must prepare for a world in which nuclear warfare will occur.

Furthermore, U.S. stock markets have plummeted a day after the Brexit decision. This is not yet a recession, but could very well lead to one. We must prepare for tightening markets, which usually leads to unemployment because no one wants to spend the money to pay people. Thus, we could be dealing with a crisis of resources in the near future–thousands of unemployed people who need security during a war. We ourselves might be the next refugees.

If shit really does hit the fan in this way, and you best believe I will say “I told you so” when it does, these are the meager ideas I have for survival, for my Radical People.

  1. Stay away from The Metropolis. History has shown that cities are prime targets for raids and bombs.
  2. Stay away from the coast. That’s where invasions happen. Invasions are bad.
  3. Stay away from power lines and electronics. Nuclear fallout can fry electronics. And power lines are power lines.
  4. Keep your friends close (your real friends). Help your friends. I’m willing to bet the ICE will become like the Spanish inquisition within the first few months of Trump’s presidency. Undocumented people will need asylum.
  5. Start stockpiling the following: first aid materials (band-aids, gauze, neosporin, tylenol, penicillin, whatever), PADS AND TAMPONS, TOILET PAPER (NO JOKE), canned food, bottled water, thread, needles, burn cream, lighters, insulin, splints, underwear, sunscreen, sunglasses, and if you can afford it, radiation detection devices.
  6. To survive nuclear fallout, you must have shelter. Look for dense materials such as concrete, earth, bricks, books, or water. In case of a bomb blast, the best place to be is a basement. Plan to stay there for at least 2 days. For more tips, click here.
  7. Learn to use a gun. I doubt gun control is going to pass in the current state. In a lawless situation, you might need firearms.
  8. Get used to running. Learn to swim. If you cannot do either, consider how fast you can crawl. If you cannot do any of the above, see number 5.
  9. If a gun is not available, find something you can wield that is heavy, like a shovel, baseball bat, or crowbar.
  10. Learn to grow your own food. Some pretty easy plants to start with are potatoes and tomatoes.
  11. Learn to sleep on any surface.
  12. Get used to shitting in a hole or a bucket.
  13. Learn some chemistry.
  14. Don’t get too altruistic. If you feel you’re not safe and people aren’t listening to you, forget them and save your ass. This is survival, not a TV show. Be smart.

That’s all I got. Good luck, y’all, and may the odds be ever in your–er, I mean, happy survival.

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